In-House Tension

Family argument

The number of domestic tension between parents and their children, (most especially their young adults) are becoming alarming. Hence, the need to unravel the causes, effects and antidote to this ugly trend in order to curtail it; of which will help in building strong family bond.

Most parents have that paternalistic attitude towards their children (young adults), whereas, most young adults develop that rebellious attitude towards their parents; and these attitudinal frameworks could result to antagonism in the primary agent of socialization (the family).


Naturally, parents want to remain at the helm of affairs in the life of their children. So, it takes the child to “fight” his/her way out through number of means. Therefore, that process of perpetual domination of parents over their children, and the children struggling to gain independence usually create an IN HOUSE TENSION in the family and if not properly managed could tear the family apart.

As a young adult still living with your parents; I’m sure you don’t expect them to believe over night that you are fully grown without you taking up responsibilities and showing them how that responsibility has made you responsible.

Say, as a guy, at 28 you are still feeding on “mummy thank you ma” and you still expect your mum to stare at you with optimum respect? Although she may be mute about it but right within her, she would wish to have had a real man as a son.

At your late 20s you still ask your parent for virtually everything you need; and you are wondering why they treat you like a child?

Just as parenthood has to do with having children and taking up responsibilities, also, being a young adult (especially when you are still in your parent’s house) shouldn’t be all about being parasitic (totally dependent). Hence, the need to having a mutually beneficial relationship to curtail any possibility of in house tension due to negligence of responsibility in the family.


Moreover, most fathers are authoritative and some mothers are domineering and surprisingly, they assume these characters as a leadership technique in order to bind their families together for the sake of their family names. Hypothetically, it could be that your father isn’t authoritative nor your mother domineering, but the possibility of having such parents are minute and insignificant especially in an African society.

So; the fact that you are done with your secondary education or you are in the higher education or maybe you have started working after graduating from school and probably have your own family doesn’t make you the parent of your parent; you owe them some deserved respect.

As parents; the fact that your son/daughter has graduated from school without a job or life partner doesn’t mean you should unnecessarily pressurize them in getting one because, it could lead them to engaging in dubious activities that they may end up regretting.

In as much as conflict is inevitable in every society, there is every need for it to be constructive for it not to serve as an agent of destruction. The family, which is the primary unit of every society, should be a product of an institution based on care, respect and sacrifice; because, when the family gets it wrong, the whole society suffers.

the author
I'm a public affairs analyst. Currently studying political science at Bayero University, Kano. A radio presenter at BUKFM, Kano. I believe in hardwork and self development.

Leave a Reply